Moose - a "love" to remember

This is a short story in memory of my Boy Moose.

Ode To Moose

Tory rose from the bountiful feast Lady Deborah had prepared, stomach, mind and heart delighted at not only the wonderful food but the company as well.

"I think I will go see an Old Dear Friend today". "There will be little time for such things as preparations for the Ball begin soon". With a wave of her hand she slipped out of the door and onto the cool stone, flower lined walkway leading to the forest path beyond the courtyard.

Walking along the pathway to the foot of the mountain Tory remembers a dream and puzzles at the haunting words "even the wind could not keep me from you" came the whisper. What could this mean? "It stays with me even in waking, what can it mean?" she mutters to herself.

At the foot of the mountain at cave entrance, she coos softly "Moostevia? Moostevia I am here, may I come in to visit?" No answer.

Perhaps he has gone to the lake to swim. Visions of his red wings and golden eyes flash through her mind as she remembers the lazy summer days together. The beauty of water beads upon his flesh sparkling like a million diamonds and his delightful laugher as he fanned lace like wings to dry her, only to knock her over due to the force. Big lug, never has known his own strength, she chuckled as she headed for the waters edge.

Surprise over took Tory along with concern, the lake was calm and no red dragon splashing, playing and rollicking anywhere in sight. Suddenly alarm sounded in her brain a scream of anguish as she swooshed around to run back up the path to Moosetevia's lair.

Upon reaching the cave entrance Tory tip toed inside very quietly asking, "Moostevia are you home? Moostevia did not answer.

Inside the lair it is dark and damp, perfect conditions for my dearest of friends and any dragons envy. He is a tidy Dragon, everything in its place, she thought to herself. Entering the inner chamber, Tory stops at the doorway taking in the sight of her dearest friend lying upon the cool floor of his lair. She listens intently and hears a faint but rhythmic breathing pattern then quietly whispers, "Moostevia dearest, are you awake?"

Moostevia opens his golden eyes to look at his closest of friends as Tory approaches his massive head. She reaches to scratch the spot between his eyes that always brings a purr yet none comes.

Moostevia then opens his mouth to speak but only a whisper emerges where once was enough sound to move the mountain above should he only wish to do so. He says "Dearest friend I have waited for you for I could not leave without first telling you of the Love a dragon has for his Lady.  It is time for me to go beyond, time for me to join those that fly between worlds".

Tears begin to stream down Tory's porcelain cheeks, her mouth cannot speak as she understands the love between a Mystic and her Dragon. She can only say, "I love you my dearest friend and will see you one day, you shall forever be the beat of my heart".

The cave is quiet as the two share their last space on earth together. Moostevia whispers "Even the Wind cannot keep me from you" and in a moment he vanishes between to wait for her to join him when her time is done.

The Mystic curls up still feeling the warmth where her precious friends body lay just moments before crying, heaving sobs for the pain of separation which she never allowed herself to fully prepare for.

"Even the Wind cannot keep me from you" she hears in the silence of this once joyful place "Even the Wind cannot keep me from you, my dearest friend" tory whispers in reply.




Chapter One


Tory stood at the window of the nourishment parlor gazing out the window onto a perfect morning.  The dew of the night rose from the meadow, as it did every morning, burning off with the morning sunlight making the haze drift in a sideways,  swirling motion.  Fragrance of the spirit lily's drifted with the breeze filling the hut and tory's soul with joy. 

Quiet within her morning meditation she began summoning all the gratitude within her to a central place within her solar plexus, ever growing and gathering strength preparing for departure.  Washing her hands from preparing the morning meal, imparting as much love as possible into it, she marveled at the feel of tepid water running across her hands, losing herself in the moment. 

Aviana and Kurtuk were in the outer building working playfully on the new bow that was their current assignment from the great teacher, Taunge.  They felt fortunate to be given the opportunity to train with her, as her student enrollment was limited due to great age and responsibilities. 

Taunge was one of the Elders of M'Lady and remembered times before enlightenment although she never spoke of such things.   Her speech was soft and filled the air melodiously as if in a soft song, which kept attention on the importance of the choosing of each word.  Never should this world know of what had transpired before but wisdom declared that they be made ready should..... She quickly cut off her thought process and moved forward to today's lessons. 

The goal was clear.  Make a bow that would respond only to you by imparting as much of yourself into it as possible.  

"It is not enough to form the wood" Taunge explained.  "Each person here must make friends with the wood and agree on its formation". 

"How do I make friends with wood" asked Kurtuk.  "It is just a dead nothing that I picked up from the forest".  Kurtuk signed deeply while gazing at Aviana with huge emerald eyes.  His skin was still rainbow and changed as often as his indecision on life paths. 

Aviana gazed back taking in her sibling's smaller form.  He was 2 semesters and a solstice younger and becoming very handsome as he grew into adulthood.  The leather he wore mixed with his own scent making it quite unique and appealing.  She would have to explain things in greater detail from now on. 

Kurtuk's gaze took in much more than Aviana's outline.  He noticed the blue beginning to form more and more prominently as her life path's decision was being made.  She was stunning and he could hardly endure the anticipation of the colors forming that would mark the level of her resolve.  A tender smile turned up the corner of his lips at his sibling's decision to become a teacher. 

Aviana began quietly, almost in a whisper directing her attention to her own piece of wood and the sharp plane in her hand.  She laid the plane gently on the workbench and released her own bow from between her knees.  Cooing lovingly toward the wood in her hand she spoke to it for Kurtuks instruction.   "One day you will trust me to give me your name and on that day we shall be as one my new friend.  I will lovingly stroke your skin until you emerge in all your beauty.  You will know me by my touch and I you from the beginning, remembering always that everything is one and all affect the others of our world." came her loving words. 

Kurtuk understood and picked up his own piece of wood to speak with it.  "Wood, I do not know why I should help you emerge" he began.  "You will be strong and steady able to hold the string I have already prepared for you".  "Bow, you will apply yourself to your work in a most focused manner and one day you will give me your name and blessing to join as one". 

Aviana smiled softly and shook her head slightly while sighing.  "You are such a male" she chuckled. 

"Well what else would you have me be?" was Kurtuk's quick  response. 

"Exactly as you are, you are glorious my sibling" came the reply.  

Across the meadow came tory's voice.    "Come Avaiana"  "Come Kurtuk"  "Nourishment has been prepared for you".

At the sound of tory's voice they quickly responded by placing their wood and equipment into their personal chests.

Kurtuk let out a quick "I bet I can beat you to the hut" as he sprinted away without giving Aviana any more notice.

Avaiana replied, "Oh yeah?" as she let out a sharp whistle.

The whistle had not completed when Etay appeared from between and beside Aviana.  Aviana swooshed with one quick motion to mount and they sprinted toward the hut passing Kurtuk at half field. 

Kurtuk arrived at the hut, dew shimmering upon his rainbow skin and sulking.  Muscles pulsating with the joy of the morning run he looked, for the moment,  just the moment, a glimmer of adulthood.  

"No fair, I have not yet been chosen by my sable".

tory chuckled and replied, "give it time Kurtuk it is possible that a sable your equal has not yet become ready for you".  She reached over and smoothed back a tuff of coal black hair from his forehead. 

The three sat around the small table, soft down filled pillows beneath them and spent the next few moments communing with the bowls before them.  tory then spoke, "Thank you for the life you have given that we may continue on with your journey as one" was the all too familiar prayer. 

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A little personal history.  I am crazy over dogs.... I do mean crazy.... I love my dogs more than most people I know.  They are so patient, loving, always ready when I am and well they spoil me by just being a dog.  I was very very very etc..... keep going... attached to my dog "Moose".

Moose and I trained and competed together, earning an amazing 3 titles and a championship in 6 weeks time after training for 2 years.  He was a 2nd hand dog (well actually a 5th or so because of his "emotional" issues which I think is what made us click so well).  He was 105lbs of pure doberman muscle and had been in a DEA (drug enforcement agency) home, had been trained partially for protection work and well you can imagine he had confidence out the butt and most people were completely convinced that he was a very bad dog.  When I decided to buy him a training buddy questioned my decision with... "what are you going to do when he turns on you?!!!"  then sneered because I am after all just a woman.  I said.... "Well I guess the Vet better have 2 beds available because he will be in one and I in the other".  Everyone was afraid of this baby EXCEPT me and it was love at first sight when I met him.  I have a rule of only one male dog in the house at a time and my Rhet was still alive but not doing well so I boarded Moose with the previous owner for the next 2 months.

When it was Rhets time he and my Brandy were both transitioned at the same time.  Both Dobermans.  Rhet had been severely abused and my goal with him was to bring him out of it and it took 9 years but at the end he thought everyone was wonderful.  Rhet was also completely and totally attached to Brandy and had sever thyroid issues.  I mean he almost had a nervous collapse when he had to stay away from her after a minor surgery for 24 hours.  I will never forget the pitiful nonstop howling even though he could see her, he could not snuggle with her and nothing would console him so we finally had to sedate him for the night.  I knew that when Brandy (who was 5 years his senior) transitioned I would have to let him go too.  Brandy developed heart issues at age 14 and it was her time, so the day came and we put them both to sleep together.  Rhet first then Brandy so he would never need to spend a moment without her. I left town as the house was just too empty and I was emotionally distraught for 2 weeks then had Moose brought to me from Kentucky.

Cutting emotional strings is not an easy thing for me.  I see people, animals, places as extensions of ourselves with these little strings attaching everything to simply everything else and part of ourselves (along with anyone else who has been a part of that life) remains forever a part of whatever it was.  I view the phrase of "being attached" to something in a much deeper way than most people.  Letting go of a person, place or thing that I have become attached to is a huge process internally and not a pretty one for anyone around me.  I rage and hurt at the deepest, primal levels over the emptiness where that string should still be attached.  In fact during the letting go process with my dogs it is not uncommon to sit with headphones listening to the howls of wolves in the wild as my own internal self howls with separation anxiety.  It is something that very few ever really understand about me and how I react so strongly to change, even when it is a positive one.  So I came home after the Vet visit, had them set for cremation (to be picked up at the Vets office), saw their empty bowls by the fire place and LOST IT.  The house was void where they had been.  Their presence no longer there, they had gone on without me and even though it was necessary and I would not have wished even one more moment of suffering, it was just silent where they had been.  The two weeks gave me space in which to cut those strings then come back home to a new feeling within the house, one of memories but not physical presence. 

Moose arrived and after visiting for a short time with the breeder/boarder I took him out of his crate, attached a collar and lead then to the front yard we went, me with a pocket full of diced hot dog (training treats).  I knew he was trained but not certain of exactly to what extent.  I knew that this very first meeting would either make or break our time together.  Moose would either try to eat me (too) or he would respect me but something was about to happen.  We worked for about an hour solid with my putting him through his paces and demanding precision, obedience while rewarding him for every correct thing he had done.  At the end of the hour we were bonded... so tightly that it is doubtful I will ever feel another bond quite like that (even with my Ele being his reincarnation).  We learned a thing that Moose had never experienced before, mutual respect and complete fairness toward each other.

Only once did Moose look at me and think about "eating" me and it is completely understandable.  I had broken both of my elbows during a training accident with him.  Never try to jump over a dog jump with your dog attached to the leash to teach him to do that.  NEVER.. yeah when he launched with his 105 pounds of muscled self he catapulted me and I ended up on the grass with him looking at me funny and licking my face.  So 2 casts and 5 weeks later we went back to training.  To get his desire back up for biting the sleeve, I had him teased by the helper to a very large degree before letting him bite and well that once he looked at me like.... "Witch... I'm gonna bite something its either you or him, choose".  For which I looked at him sternly and said, "Make my day!" to which he decided that the helper with the sleeve looked much more promising and it was over that quickly. 

Everyone loved (or at least respected) my Moose.  I think that many came over just to see him which is why now my pets are put up when others come to visit.  I like to visit too.  Only once was there an issue with guests as Moose was very well trained and knew how to behave properly.  We had a guest over, one of my Partner's friends from work, who Moose did not know AND he was a very large man which immediately in my Moose's mind meant something to be watched.  LOL  My back was turned while at sitting at the computer and the guest was behind me.  The guest quietly asked, "Um....... what is your dog doing?" so I turned to look and saw the "look".  I told the guest... DON'T MOVE.  My dog was completely in his protection zone and waiting for the guest to just touch me as he had positioned himself (the guest) between me and my dog which was a complete no no.  I stood up, went to my dog, told him to stay then had the guest sit on the sofa, then released my dog from "work" to which he went over and put a nose under the guests hand to be petted.  Yep that was life with my Moose.  I simply told the guest to NEVER position himself between myself and my dog again and he never did even though we all became quite good friends (his wife, he and ourselves) visiting often.  Even today, if you were to ask this friend about that moment he would tell you that it was possibly one of the scariest moments of his life, oh that LOOK... yep he was my Moose and no other (even Ele) the same.  Of course, I told Moose/Ele (when they made it quite clear who he/she was) that this life time he would have the life of his dreams and s/he has been spoiled beyond belief and given the complete life that I have desired as my show of gratitude for our wonderful years together.  S/he is well... trained but not even anywhere close to competition levels now and pretty much a spoiled brat.  I would have it no other way.

So Moose had a condition called CVI which is where the spine begins deteriorating and he went lame.  We brought him back to being able to walk and be with us through steroid injections and therapy for 3 years but finally there was no bringing him back as his brain stem was being affected.  No more therapy, no more hope, oh it was emotionally grueling to say the least.  I had even fed him home cooked meals to help his body be able to process nutrition easier for these last 3 years and when he was lame we would place a sling around his rear end (his back legs would become completely unusable) to take him outside for time out and to do his business.  I should have let him go much sooner but I just could not do it.  I just could not.

The decision had been reached to never get another dog, letting them go just hurt too much, but well..... my partner just could not see me without a doberman in the house.  I had, had a doberman by my side since 1982 and well, I just was not me without one.  Even though Desire was still alive (and an old lady at age 10), we had not bonded like Moose and I did.

Desire was a Diva in her own right and basically a nut case.  She was beautiful but very aloof, stand offish, did not enjoy being petted, the only dog I ever had that bit the Vet and was afraid of almost everything (genetics because I had her since age 6 months and she had never had anything environmental to suggest these issues AND her Sire was completely unstable and mental).  Desire transitioned at home, it is a sweet story and if you knew Desire it would be even sweeter due to her aloofness.  She woke me up at 2am making sounds in her sleeping crate which worried me so I got up and got her out then I laid on the sofa to sleep with her on the floor beside me.  We drifted in and out of sleep with my hand dangling down and touching her gently rubbing her side occasionally then around 7am I felt her kick.  She kicked the wall making a sound as if she were leaping somewhere and then was gone.  It was that quick and that beautiful, her lesson of her body reacting to leaping into the place we will all return to one day. 

While looking at the internet, I saw a breeding that was to die for and well you guessed it.  Three months later and a few thousand American Dollars we picked Ele up from the air port in Tulsa.  Ele stands for Everyone Love Everyone by the way... just in case you wondered.

Then in 2007 we took in Carmel which is a mutt but I swear she is actually a human in a small furry body and one of the best dogs I have ever had the pleasure of spending time with.  Carmel was displaced during a severe ice storm so we fostered her and well... they never came back to get her.  The only thing I have issues with is that she is furry... I mean part some alaskan sled type dog with an under coat and part sneaky other dog so requires a lot of brushing and vacuuming and well in general everything else that comes with a longer coated dog.  Doberman's are single coated and very short furred so she is very different for me to work with AND she is stubborn as a Missouri Mule but loveable in cuddly ways that my Doberman's have never quite been.

So with getting older, these are definitely my last 2 dogs.... DEFINITELY.  I worry what would happen to them if someone else had them?  Would they be spoiled?  Would they be cared for?  Would they be loved?  These questions over ride any want of having another pet after these.  I just do not trust anyone else to care for the strings of my heart.  I can only imagine that reunion at the rainbow bridge when I arrive to pick them up and tears of joy flow just thinking about it now.

  Moose is the red on on the left, Desire the black on the right.