Happiness

It had been so long since I had been happy that I forgot what it felt like.  Sitting at my desk, listening to audio tapes on positive thinking, they all talked about being happy as the key.  The problem is that I forgot what that felt like.  OH I knew what it felt like to be satisfied, what it felt like to see the joy in the clouds in the sky, how loving it felt when I looked into my Partners face as she slept but I had forgotten what it felt like to be happy.  Just Happy, pure, simple, no holds barred, whole body and soul happy.  I had felt Happy before so I knew that what was being felt was not happy, it was joy or any one of the variations of Happy but it was not Happy.  Sometimes it came so very close but still it was not Happy, just Happy.

Over the past quarter of a Century there have been moments of Happy but for some reason they were not loved enough so I forgot to take a snap shot in my brain so I could remember what it felt like and get back to it when it was lost again.  Those moments of Happy in my past feel like the smoke from a camp fire, only there as long as the wood was being put to flame and gone with the smoke when the wood was all used up.  Somehow I had taken those moments for granted and forgotten to take a snapshot of that emotion, that feeling, rather than just the surroundings while the miracle happened.

The current focus of our mental activities has been on Love and the decision reached that there is only Love and anything that is not this is simply a lack of it.  We have decided that like Happy, Love is a tangible thing which lives and breathes.  Love and Happy can be acquired but they can also be lost if not appreciated enough to take those mental snap shots then refuse any less emotion in our lives.  Because we believe that Love and Happy are friends then one must always be fairly close to the other and will only be seen if the other is present.  Like best friends, where one is the other is close.

The problem was that I had forgotten what Happy looked like, how Happy felt and how to just give into the emotion with a child like abandonment.  Perhaps I had also forgotten exactly what Love was and how it is not about getting, it is about giving and we can never out give Love.  Out giving Love can never happen because if another does not give it back then it is not Love, it is a variation of a lack of it.  In the giving we are Love, it is not outside of ourselves, we are LOVE and Love is not dependent on anything other than itself.  We have a choice to either Love others with a lack of it anyway.  The understanding/wisdom must be that we can not force Love in any of its various forms onto another because Love is Freedom to choose and the other will either choose to return it or they will not.  Love will not stay with us as an active part of our mental make up if we choose to allow others to give us less than the Love we are giving.  If we become one with Love it does not matter because we are no longer dependent upon another for it.  One caution here though is that Love is the most amazing thing of all in that when we only see the good in another regardless of what they are doing then Love grows or the other leaves because they are free to choose a lack of Love if that is what is wanted.  Love is not dependent upon any other person or thing though it is its own entity whole and complete for each of us to feel.

Yesterday I went to the store for a few things.  While there I saw 'Curly's pulled pork' in the refrigerator case.  I was surprised to see it as Curly's Barbecue sauce is simply my very favorite.  They did not sell it in the stores here and I had missed it sorely.  After the surprise, I picked up the container and joy began filling me.  I let the joy come.  Then I wondered if it were indeed MY Curly's or another brand with the same name so bought the container and brought it home with a fresh package of hamburger buns.  Bouncing into the door, I hurried to open the packages containing the purchases to show my Partner who was getting excited because now my feet could no longer stay still and danced their way across the floor while excitedly exclaiming.... "you will never believe what I brought home!"  Then I rushed to open the package, put a portion in the microwave and made a sandwich.  I bit down into the mouth watering sandwich and my taste buds began to dance.  I do mean each and every one of my 10,000 taste buds began to do the Hallelujah chorus.  My mouth began to laugh.  I laughed so hard with the Happiness of this thing that my jaws began to cramp (its been a while so those muscles are out of practice).  So this is what Happy feels like?  Snap, Snap, Snap went my brain taking as many mental pictures as possible this time.

I hurried to the phone and called the corporate office of the store to thank them, then I sent an e mail thanking them, then I called Curly's thanking them then............. my Partner and I went back to the store and bought three more containers for the freezer.  With every communication people laughed with me and they were happy too.

As we left to go back to the store for more of this magical stuff that made my whole body and soul remember what Happy felt like, we saw our neighbor.  Larry was curious as to why I was dancing, it seemed like I was floating rather than walking in pure Happiness.  I explained what had happened to him and even in the middle of it I doubled over needing to get my breath because of the laughter and complete happiness over this event.  He looked at my Partner and said, "she gets a little excited, doesn't she?"  In two years he has never seen me HAPPY so it was not only a joy but also a surprise for him.  For just a moment we were able to remind him what Happy feels like.  When we returned from the store, I made him a Curly's BBQ sandwich and took it to him so he could experience why I was so very happy and share this with him.

The Curly's BBQ did not make me happy, this I need to try to make someone understand.  It was that I LOVE Curly's BBQ and when reunited with it, Loves friend HAPPY came out to join me.  At that very moment there was a choice because Love is freedom.  I could either choose to completely succumb to Happy or I could resist it but I needed to remember what Happy felt like so I choose to abandon every normal, adult like, rational reaction and just be Happy.

Now that I remember what this feels like, I will make it a goal to get back to Happy every time I lose it even if it is a million times a day.  I know what Happy is and that is where I want to be.  I also know that Happy and Love are friends so to get to one, I simply need to do the other.  I want my best friends to be Love and Happy.  I am free to make this choice regardless of what any other chooses as their own personal choice in life. I will never be able to be down enough to help pull another out of the pits of despair but perhaps if maybe just maybe someone else who needs to remember can see it (through me) they will grab onto the rope and be pulled up into Love which will always be close to Happy.  Where ever one is, the other will be very close by. 

 

Jealousy

Well, folks this is the morning topic inside of our brain.... Jea LOUSY.  Never noticed before that the word has lousy in it.  Should not surprise me at all.

What is this thing jealousy?  Why is it even here on this planet?  It is one emotion that I simply do not get and what has brought it up today is a situation between my neighbors which FINALLY is understood.  Yeah I'm a little dense with things that are not a part of my own personal world.

My neighbors are fighting and we just could not understand why.  More importantly the neighbors that are being fought with can not understand so is it any wonder that our brain worked on it last night while shut down? 

We live in a duplex as do our neighbors next door.  On one side of their duplex is a family of 6.  This family is happy, very demonstrative, always ready to help (anyone), very generous of all that they have, nice cars, they pay cash for everything and shop thrifty to be able to do so but even shopping thrifty they always have everything they need and more.  This family often shares whatever they have to give but it is with an open smile and every indication that this is something they love to do.  This family often will go to court with their friends (being immigrants as are their friends somethings are just not understood until too late), they go to Doctors appointments, visit friends in the hospital, their children are well mannered and while we are certain they have problems they do not wear those problems on their sleeves or make them anyone elses responsibility.  Their neighbor in the next duplex is very angry with them right now and has chosen (in our way of thinking) a silly thing to be angry about BUT the bottom line is that he feels disrespected.  This neighbor is divorced, lives alone, has problems keeping his rent and monthly bills paid, has been fighting over custody of his only child for several years now (recently losing the joint custody and now has structured), does not have a car (but is very physically fit and even BUFF because of it and going to the gym several times a week) which he says is a choice, and seems quite angry.  They both (both families) are wonderful people and we enjoy each of them immensely.  They each are quite different yet quite wonderful and we love both families equally. 

The silly thing that has become the "battle ground" is the single neighbors garage.  Again he has no car BUT this really does not matter as it is HIS garage and he pays a portion of his rent each month for it.  Sounds simple and should be.  The Family somehow decided that because their neighbor was not using his garage, they were welcome to it and began treating it as if it were their own.  This has NOT been pretty with the family not able to understand what the problem is and the single man quite frustrated at trying to get the understanding across which FINALLY ended in an emotional explosion from the Single neighbor.  This explosion has turned into ground zero to the point of one of the families friends coming over and parking their car (unknown to the family) blocking this empty garage with no car to go into it and the single man exploding all over the Family man (verbally and very loudly) after breaking into this car (rather than coming to any of us to find who owned it) so he could take it out of park and MOVE it out from in front of his garage.  I went and bought a no parking sign and put it on that garage so now everyone knows not to park in front of it. 

For several weeks now, I've been trying to figure out what is REALLY going on inside of these heads.  It is not a matter of simple disrespect as the single man has determined is the problem.  There was no problem while he had joint custody of his child AND the Family provided free babysitting all summers while the single man worked.  In fact after the first explosion the single man told me (this was in the spring) that he needed to be nice because he needed a free babysitter.  Sigh.... Well, after exploding all over the Family the first time the free babysitting came to a stop. 

The Family's Wife (and a friend as they all are our friends including the single man) is quite hurt, confused, angry and well again confused.  She keeps asking me what she did wrong?  She keeps asking me if she is wrong?  I just keep saying, "he is very angry over something right now".  She does not understand why talking together would not have achieved a better result than the almost going to blows that happened a couple of weeks ago.  There is no way to "fix" this or there is no way I can "fix" this so we just continue letting each vent without taking sides. 

What does this have to do with jealousy?  Well.... what I believe has happened is that the Single man is jealous over the relationship and family life of the Family (even though they do not conduct their family in the way he would).  I believe that jealousy is at the root of this issue.  I believe that it is more acceptable to say that he was disrespected by them than to say that he is jealous of them.  It is very sad for me to watch.

While growing up, this thing called jealousy has been a thorn in my own side.  This is already long enough so not going to go into it except to say that it is something that I do not understand.  We each are created with the same number of hours in each day.  We each are given choices at every moment of every day to spend however we choose to spend that choice.  We each choose how we will feel at any given moment OR we choose to feel something different.  Jealousy is something that I do not understand at all because every one of us has the same opportunities as the next.  If we see something that another is experiencing that we, ourselves, wish to experience then it is most often available to us.  We might need to go back to school or study harder or take a second job or any number of costs for that experience but why be jealous when it is there for the taking if we want it?

Suppose, we will think about this some today and try to figure it out.  Honestly... we think it is just silly.   

Hugging - Be the Revolution

Hugging is simply the sharing of space between 2 or more individuals which conveys a feeling without words.  It says, "I like you.  I want to share space on this planet with you."

It is not to be confused with anything other than that, as it is a very surface every day type of thing.  It does not convey a hope for a deeper relationship such as a kiss might convey.  A hug does not convey any type of emotion, other than in that very moment a wordless expression of shared space and enjoyment in each other.

Because energy is exchanged, hugs should be withheld if both of the parties are in anger because well... do we really need to share this emotion?  Upon further mental examination, perhaps when two people are angry a hug can be the thing that cancels out those two negative emotions.  Maybe it is just this reason, two negatives (magnets) repel each other?  Perhaps this is why hugging is so rare in our society?  People are just too angry and have too many emotions to "hide" which might accidentally spill over in that hug?  Well, I suppose this is true if people do not understand what a hug is.  Perhaps this desire to "hide" emotions is why it is so rare in the work place.  Pity, really it is.

Some view Huggers as less intelligent.  We see often how those who are of a lower intelligence ,when measure on intelligence quotient tests, hug profusely.  Their parents worry that others will immediately know that they are lacking in some way so go about trying to squelch this activity.  Again, it is a real pity because for what a mentally retarded individual lacks in intellectual intelligence they make up for mightily in emotional intelligence.  We could learn a lot here and through sharing might even bring a harmony or balance to society as a whole. 

It is demonstrated in board rooms across the world that hugging is strictly taboo.  We even have full policies in place in the work place to prevent an exchange of this type.  Sad, isn't it?  When what should happen is to begin each day hugging each other and end it in the same way. A class should be REQUIRED outlining exactly what a hug is because I believe it has been lost over the centuries and many times perverted into something that it simply is not.

As a society, I believe, we have taken withholding a hug from another as a demonstration of being above them in some way.  Sad isn't it?  Yes we have the "power" to give or with hold this little gesture but what does that really say about the person withholding it?  I believe it says more than can be conveyed here.  No one on this Earth is above or below another and the World would be a sad place indeed when even one light has been extinguished.  Maybe it has been misunderstood in a giving away of something rather than a reciprocal event?  I always wonder why another does not wish to share space with me when refused.  It says much more about them than me.  

Saying a hug caused someone to rape is the same as saying that a gun caused someone to kill.  It simply does not make any sense at all.  It does not matter how I turn this thing over in my mind to try to understand how a hug or a gun created someone to become evil, it just does not compute.

So to all of my friends, all of the humans that we share space with here on Planet Earth

Hugs

You are invited to join the revolution.

This video made me cry... very inspiring